AFAWN - Show, Don’t Tell

“Show, don’t tell” is a very common note given out my editor’s to beginner writers… and probably even advanced writers. The idea behind this is that as the author you don’t want to simply tell the reader what the characters are feeling. You need to show them in some sort of physical manifestation.

So, for example, you wouldn’t write “John was angry” or “This upset John.” And even worse is if you had John say, “This makes me angry.” (The exception to this being if the character John is speaking with is asking him about his emotion) As a general rule, you should try to avoid narrating an emotion or having a character express their emotion in dialogue as a way to inform the reader. So how do you show? Here are some examples:

Angry: John clenched/gritted his teeth. John spoke through his teeth. John squeezed his fist. John’s fist began to shake.

Nervous: John’s pulse quickened. Sweat formed on John’s brow. John clasped his hands together to keep them from shaking. John began to bite his nails.

Sad: Tears welled up in John’s eyes. John scowled/frowned. John had a sinking feeling in his chest.

The ability to show is important for the character whose POV you’re in, but it helps deepen that perspective and really directs the reader to what the character is experiencing. The ability to show is also critical to convey the emotions of the characters whose POV you’re NOT in. It’s practically the only way without resorting to 3rd person omniscient (see previous post).